Hey, no fooling: Spring has arrived, and April is just on the horizon. But you know what’s even more satisfying than spending time in extended daylight hours to watch the flowers bloom? Heading inside a theater to watch a snazzy movie for a few hours. This month’s crop includes a Rock, a Hulk, a horror and a comedy in which Jon Cena chugs beer via his butt hole. Here are five reasons to be excited for April’s movie slate. Let’s get cracking!!!!!
1. 22 Superheroes, 1 Movie
Iron-Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Star Lord (Chris Pratt), Ant-Man (Paul Rudd), Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) . . . basically, every Marvel superhero on Earth appears in Avengers: Infinity War. (And, thanks to the Guardians of the Galaxy folks, beyond Earth as well!). If they’re all going to convene, you better believe it’s for an excellent reason: Evil Thanos (Josh Brolin) is on the scene and ready to destroy the world. I have a hunch that Black Panther will make it out of the ruckus OK. (In theaters Friday, April 27)
2. This Amy Schumer Comedy Looks Pretty Funny
Amy Schumer comedies may not be gut-busting insta-classics, but they consistently get the job done. In I Feel Pretty, she plays an “ordinary woman” (whatever that means) that struggles with her insecurity. After a fall, she comes to with a shot of self-confidence and the belief she can rule the world. Metaphorically, that is. Michelle Williams, in a rare non-heavy role, is Schumer’s boss. As well she should be. The rest of the cast includes Saturday Night Live’s Aidy Bryant, Emily Ratajkowski and Busy Philipps. (In theaters Friday, April 20)
3. It’s the Female Version of Superbad
Blockers recently premiered to wild buzz at the South by Southwest Festival. (The cool kids refer to it as SXSW.) Wild guess, but I believe it had something to do with the scene in which good sport John Cena attempts to chug beer out of the wrong end. I’ll back up. Cena, Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholtz hunt down their teen daughters on Prom Night in a quest to stop them from losing their respective virginities. Shenanigans ensue. BTW, these girls are no damsels in distress: They make the Superbad and American Pie crew look like choir boys. (In theaters Friday, April 6)
4. Dwayne Johnson Flexes More Muscle
Instead of Fast & Furious 27, Dwayne Johnson uses the franchise’s regular April slot to unveil his latest actioner, Rampage. And this one has a doozy of a plot. Johnson is a scientist that works closely with a gorilla named George. But when George becomes infected with an interstellar mutation (???!!!!), it leads to a city-leveling, er, rampage. Johnson’s job is to find the antidote before it’s too late! Loosely based on a 1986 arcade game, this flick is poised to be brainless, monstrous-sized fun. (In theaters Friday, April 13)
5. Silence Is Golden
John Krasinski’s last directorial effort was a sweet family comedy called The Hollars. He’s clearly had many, many nightmares since 2016. A Quiet Place is the story of a loving family of four that must live in complete silence so not to disturb mysterious alien-like creatures that hunt and kill via sound. Krasinski is in front and behind the camera (he also co-wrote the script), while his real-life wife, Emily Blunt, plays his onscreen spouse. Warning: This horror film might lead to possible cardiac arrest. Please consult your doctor before viewing. Then enjoy. (In theaters Friday, April 6)
Also published on Medium.